I don't know what they're looking at
The BBC now sees 322 seats for Conservatives, that's up from 314 in exit polls.
Trade that if you want but they aren't looking at the same results as me. The only good news for Conservatives has been in Scotland where there are a total of 59 seats.
They're underperforming (and Labour is surging) in England, Wales and elsewhere where there are 591 seats.
One slice separate of good news to add to that was Amber Valley, where the Conservatives just won with 56.5% of the vote, that's almost as much as the 57% expected; although Labour got 38.4% compared to 36% expected. At least it's close to a model that had given the Conservatives a majority.
Another slice is Monmouth where Conservatives got 53% compared to 41% expected.
The key spot to watch next is London, where the results will be rolling in.
Meanwhile, Labour is ahead by 200 votes in Canterbury. There will be a recount but Conservatives were expected to win by 25 points and they won by 18 points in the last election. In fact, they've won every election there dating back to 1910.